Friday, September 23, 2011

A Letter From The EODSS



Dear Crazy Sheep Lady,

I am writing you on behalf of EODSS-Equal Opportunity for Displaced Serta Sheep. I am not asking for a donation, so please take a minute to read my story before deleting this.


It has come to my attention that #20 is employed at your farm. His duties are listed as knitting, dressing up and taking roadtrips to football games. Don't get me wrong, #20 was a perfectly nice sheep when he was part of the flock, and I am not bitter, I just want the public to be aware of the inequality in the workplace of displaced Serta Sheep everywhere.

In my current position, my duty is to hold the door open on a front-loading washing machine so that it doesn't mildew inside. An easy job, you might think, but it is quite monotonous, and the constant pressure on my rumen has caused embarrassing intestinal issues. Some have mentioned that my eyes seem to be protruding from the pressure, as well, and that was certainly never an issue before I was assigned to this job. You may also be thinking that I am only a promotional sized sheep, while #20 is a display sized sheep. Size isn't everything, lady.

My goal is only to bring to light the inequality of DSS's everywhere. I hope that the next time you encounter one, you will offer a kind word of encouragement. It can happen to anyone-one day you're a star, and the next, well, see the attached photo for yourself.

Thank you for your time.

#29

_____________________

I have such clever friends! Love ya, Pam :-D

12 comments:

dr momi said...

Well, I for one, would like to see #20 all decked in his football gear! ....I think #29 sounds a bit bitter :-)

I'm gonna tell Mom! said...

Clever! My Bosch could use an experienced DSS as a door prop. Dare I use an inexperience RSA (retired stuffed animal) instead?

kim

Alice said...

Maybe she would enjoy Lila’s dress, or her teams favorite jersey? How about a yarn bow in her hair?
In all fairness, preventing mildew is a pretty important job. Maybe she could be trained to model knitwear, or jewelry.
#29....at least your complaint has been heard!!!!

Tim said...

I would like to point out that 29 describes his job as though it's in a dreary commercial dungeon of a laundry; holy crap he's working with a finely tuned precision piece of German engineering - the Mercedes of domestic laundering. Don't tell 20 about this - he's seen our washer!

Lori Skoog said...

#29...Way to go. Don't hold back! It's always good to advocate for yourself, especially when you live with thecrazysheeplady.

Pam said...

# 29 here. Just a thank you for the outpouring of support. To I'm Gonna Tell Mom, I would encourage you to treat your RSA with respect. Pam said she once saw a stuffed hedgehog nailed-that's right, NAILED- to the wall in a pub in England to keep the doorknob from banging a hole in the wall. Tim, if this is such a fine piece of German engineering, why does it mildew in the first place? Pam must have seen your German reference because I just heard her on the Phone trying to locate a pair of lederhosen in my size. And Alice, uh, I'm a guy. Duh.

Alice said...

I do not know of many males who spend time hanging around the laundry room unless there is a beer fridge and TV nearby. #29 is also a womans permanent age when asked. I rest my case ;-)

Peacecat said...

hahahahaha!!!!!

Ed said...

Jeez #29 get over it, #20 has it made in the shade,lives on a great farm and gets to go to packer games..bitter much? LOL!!!!

flowerweaver said...

Poor #29, that does look uncomfortable! The truth is we'd all like to live with the Crazy Sheep Lady, wrapped in one giant hand-knit sweater, and be taken to tailgate parties. Sigh.

Inequalities like these will exist until the Fibertarians take over Congress. If conditions become truly unbearable and you think you could survive our high temperatures without much water or grass, we'll post airfare. Our farm has plenty of animals that don't do much work, what's one more in the flock?

Terry and Linda said...

LOL WONDERFUL!!!

Linda

http://coloradofarmlife.wordpress.com

Bee Lady said...

Maybe 29 could learn to knit while he/she is holding the washing machine door open.

Cindy Bee

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